The Councils
by Syril Silverleaf
Summary: This is about a council that Aragorn hates to attend. Ment ot be funny, tell me if it is or not... please?


There is a certain make-up to councils that applies to every which one. There is the haters, the lovers, the progressives, the, uh, not progressives... the war mongers, the peace mongers (a.k.a. the cowards) the ones who care about people, the ones who don't give a st about them, the ones who are all for "working things out, the ones who would rather cane you to death than compromise, the ones who want to make things better, the ones who couldn't really care less, the ones who treat others kindly and with compassion, the ones who look upon other as dung and will step on them if they don't move (perhpas they haven't noticed tha dung, in fact, CANNOT move...), the ones who don't like you and will say it to your face, the ones that don't like but will not say it to your face, the ones who pretend, the ones who make believe (There IS a difference, you know.) the ones who like the ones who like Barbie, the ones who like Ken (These are the ones you worry about in the showers.) the ones who are willing, the ones who are too willing... Aw, damnit, I've run out of things...

Oh, well, on with the point. Aragorn doesn't like councils. But he's stuck with them. This is one he REALLY doesn't like, for quite a few reasons...

Aragorn hated Councils with a passion. Especially the Council of Lords on which resided a fair few older lords that thought Ecthelion was a good influence. Right. (They just handily over looked the fact that he had been stark raving mad. Old age, you took every comfort you could get. Change was not a comfort to these ones.)

There was also quite a few Lords that thought Aragorn had murdered Boromir. Aragorn wanted to hit them. Hard. (But he wasn't sure if "hitting, striking, bruiseing, cutting and/or causing bodily harm" was against the rules in the official "King Handbook.")

In accompany to these men, there were also those that thought that Aragorn was too... motivated. He needed to slow down a bit (i.e. a lot). They all voiced their opinion that he needed children, an heir, to settle him down. Aragorn did not feel it wise to point out to them that he was in fact old enough to have grandchildren, perhaps even great-grandchildren. Aragorn felt that they wouldn't believe him, considering they still oft referred to him as "the young lord." (These were the men that hard rather poor eye sight, they seemd to have made a support group or the like, and had become quite chummy since Aragorn had ben crowned.)

And to counter act these gentlemen were the ones who often thoguht that he was going too slow. These were the lords that thought that Men should rule above all others, and that hobbits and dwarves were scum (Elves were all right considering they knew things that could turn your hair green, and could have been personally acquainted with your grand mother. The same went for wizards, though they were hardly mentioned). Aragorn often felt the urge to point out that with out the "pale, hairy little buggers" they would be laboring in an uruk mine right now. But diplomecy wouldn't let him. (Diplomecy did have a whole chapter to itself in the "King Handbook," after all.)

But, as in other councils, there were those that suported him fully. The fact that this number was actually only one, Aragorn tried to ignore. if he didn't, he found his optimism was blighted for at least three days after this particular council. (Not that this wasn't all that uncommon, considering this was the number of full supporters he had in every council. Some of his "supporters" were the ones who like to play pretend and make-believe. Most of them were. He just hasn't admitted this to himself yet. Still in denile, you know. A sad thing there's too few kings for a support group or group therapy...)

And then there was the one who were cataogrized as "other" on the bubble sheet surveys. (You know, the ones that are after "White, Asian, Black, Eskimo/native american, Hispanic, orange, purple, green ect,..." "Other" also happend to classify magenta, for the oddest reasons...)

And then there was "The One." This ones made aragorn want to hold sheild infront of him everytime they cam in contact, he was so... disturbing to Aragorn that the King often wanted to skip out on this counsil for this reason alone and let Faramir take care of it in a rare show of cowardice. But Pride and Ego and well, unwanted Duty kept him from doing so. (This man had a horrific lisp, and every time he would come upon a "p" or an "s" he would send saliva spraying everywhere. He also sat on the very fist seat next to Aragorn, to his left. The King had always thought of the left side as being unlucky. He should have known from the start that this council would spacifically horrid, what with that incidnet with the twins in Mirkwood that once, when they had cornered him and made him use his left hand to... Well, we can't talk about that in front of children.)

Just then said man opened his mouth and began his sentance with the word "Perchance."

Aragorn winced. Was there no pity in the world?


End file.
